


I'd Give Anything

by Ancalime1



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Ficlet, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Some angst, dream sequence kinda, these two are so sweet and i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 21:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10816854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ancalime1/pseuds/Ancalime1
Summary: He'd give anything to change what had happened that day.





	I'd Give Anything

**Author's Note:**

  * For [paridae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/paridae/gifts).



> So this was originally written for a very talented friend of mine on tumblr, who you can check out [here](http://kinglets.tumblr.com/). Hope you enjoy!

~

 

He’d give anything to change what had happened that day.

Two years later and he could still feel virtually every sensation from that moment: the impossible weight of the door against his palms, the dull pain that shivered through his muscles, the salty strand of sweat and tears that trickled down his cheek. He had promised he’d bring them back to the islands— _all_ of them—and yet here he was, reliving the moment he’d turned his back on his friend, pushed him out of the Realm of Light and into the darkness. There were few times in his life when he had felt truly powerless—and that day was, without doubt, the pinnacle of it all. He had broken a promise to his most beloved friend, had left him to wander in the perpetual nighttime of a forgotten world.

He had learned to live with the guilt of course, learned to push it to the back of his mind and dismiss it as something that had been done for the greater good. But in the days following their return to the islands, he’d found himself wracked with shame as potent as the day he’d sealed the door. It would gnaw at his conscience during the day and permeate his dreams in the night. And it was always the same routine: he’d be drifting some distance away from the scene, watching in horror as his fourteen-year-old self struggled to close the door, knowing that a phantom-Riku stood just on the other side.

Tonight, however, was different. Tonight he stood on the same wispy platform of his memories, the Door to Darkness looming over him at an impossible height.

He was alone.

 _Close it_ , came a voice in the back of his mind. _Before it’s too late._

He gave a hard swallow. “Okay,” he said to no one in particular. “Okay.” He steeled himself and pressed his palms against the door, then leaned against it with his full weight.

It moved about a full inch before he gave up, his hands cupping his knees, his chest heaving.

“I can’t do this,” he rasped, his breath shaky and hollow. “I can’t—”

_“Come on, Sora! Together we can do it!”_

He blinked, and there was the younger Riku, heaving at the door from the other side. But Sora, who had relived this moment too many times to count, whose hands were going limp against the door, found that all he could do was stare at his friend “No, I… I can’t,” he said, voice cracking. A lump had formed in his throat, and his eyes stung with tears. “No,” he repeated, his voice higher and a bit less shaky now. “I’m not leaving you again!”

But the phantom-Riku only repeated itself, as if waiting for Sora to make the correct response. Again Sora stared at him.

“Come with me,” he said, voice quiet.

Silence.

He drew in a shaky breath and attempted to make eye contact with Riku, whose head was bowed. “Come with me,” he said again. “You don’t have to be alone anymore. We’re going back together, okay?”

He shivered as a pair of cyan eyes settled into his. He knew implicitly what would happen, what had to happen. And when Riku smiled at him, soft and sad, Sora could feel his heart shatter all over again.

_“Take care of her.”_

There was a rush of wind, and the door was closed. His eyes flew open and he was suddenly in his room again, unmistakably awake, mouth dry and eyes burning. He dug his nails into the mattress of his bed, attempting to anchor himself back into reality. _Oh God,_ he thought, his heart thrashing wildly inside his chest. _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…_

He made an instinctive grab for his phone and hastily punched in Riku’s number. It was 2 AM… no doubt he’d be getting hell for waking him up so early in the morning, but this was something that just couldn’t wait. He held his breath as the phone rang.

A muffled grunt issued through the speakers, and Sora laughed in relief.

“Sora?” came Riku’s voice in his ear. “That you?”

“Yes!” he gasped, then more calmly, “Uh, yeah, it’s me. Hi, Riku. How’re you?”

A pause. Then, “You know it’s two in the morning, right?”

Sora’s cheeks burned. “I know,” he said. “I… it’s kind of an emergency. Can you come over?”

“Uh. Yeah,” said Riku, voice weary. “Be there in a sec.”

“‘Kay. Thanks.” He hung up and, tossing the phone away, hugged his knees with a loud sigh. A cocktail of relief and embarrassment swirled inside his chest, and he began to drum his fingers impatiently against his mattress. _Okay,_ he thought, trying to compose himself. _Okay. Be calm. Figure out what you’re gonna say…_

Ten whole minutes had elapsed. A knock at the door sent Sora flying out of bed, and he hastily pulled a t-shirt over his head before letting his friend inside. He twisted the knob and the door opened with a dull creak, then swung inward to reveal a slouching and sleep-leadened Riku.

“Riku!” he said, flinging his arms around his friend. He buried his face in the crook of his shoulder and inadvertently began to sob.

Riku grunted in surprise. “Hey, hey… you okay?”

“I’m fine,” sniffed Sora. “Now that you’re here, anyways.”

Riku didn’t say anything right away, just rubbed Sora’s back in slow, rhythmic strokes. He could feel his friend’s heartbeat against his, a soothing tempo that grounded him back into reality. He sighed, grateful for the warmth of his friend’s embrace, the safety of being in his arms. His breathing slowed and he released a sigh of contentment.

Riku waited until Sora was a bit more relaxed before letting him go. “Alright,” he said, voice low and comforting. “Tell me what happened.”

***

He told Riku every gritty detail from the dream—or at least, everything that he could possibly recall. He had confessed the immense guilt that had been eating away at him for the past couple of years, the shame at having abandoned his dearest friend. “I’d give anything to go back and change it,” he sobbed, all the while feeling like his skull might explode at any moment. “And that’s what I tried to do. I tried to get you to come with me, Riku! I tried to get you out of there!” he paused, wiping away the series of tears that trickled down his chin. “But it didn’t matter. In the end… nothing I did made a difference.” He exhaled sharply, and buried his head in his hands. “I’m sorry, Riku. I’m sorry for everything.”

He could practically feel his friend’s gaze burning into him, and he shuddered to think of how he must have looked just then, trembling and teary and so gut-wrenchingly helpless. But when he felt Riku’s hand against his cheek, his breath caught in his throat, and he nearly choked.

“You know,” began Riku quietly, “You keep telling me that you’re sorry for what you did.” He paused to brush away the tears that had collected on Sora’s cheek. “But the truth is, what happened that day was just meant to be. All of the worlds were depending on you to close the door—you had to think of the greater good, Sora.”

“But _I left you behind_ ,” insisted Sora, ducking away from Riku’s touch. “And honestly, I don’t think I could ever forgive myself for that.”

Another pause. He could tell that Riku was at a loss for words—perhaps his friend hadn’t forgiven him, either. And why would he? Because of him, he’d spent a year alone in the darkness, ashamed of his identity, feeling unworthy of returning to the islands, to his friends…

He found a pair of arms wrapping around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. “Sora,” came Riku’s voice, low and warm against his ear. “That was meant to be, too. The truth is, I don’t think I’d be the person I was today if none of that had happened.”

“Riku…”

“Hey. I know you feel bad. But the thing is, we both needed that to happen. And now… now we’re much better people because of it.”

A teary laugh escaped Sora’s lips. “And you say _I’m_ the sappy one,” he sniffled.

“Well, I hang out with you too much,” murmured Riku, stroking the back of Sora’s head.

“Guess some things are just bound to rub off, huh?”

“Guess so.”

“Hey, Riku. Stay the night, will ya?”

His friend arched an eyebrow. “It’s two in the morning,” he reminded him. “And it’s a Tuesday.”

“I know.”

Riku sighed, but couldn’t keep from smiling. “Of course,” he said, pressing a kiss to Sora’s cheek. “Anything for you.”


End file.
